Wordless Wednesday {Window into the soul}

On changing, adjusting and healing.

We've had a rough start this week.. on Sunday things went wrong at work and I didn't walk through the doors into the comfort of home until 3am.
The next morning after a rather sleepless night, I awoke to a toddler who had developed a fever and subsequently, a clingy disposition. Just one of those things.
Luckily that boy does love his naps and we enjoyed a blissful 2 hours snuggled warm and close in my bed.
Last night, the fever came back with a vengeance and so our night was rough yet again.. but I look forward to cuddling with him in a few hours, allowing our bodies and minds to catch up.

This is all relative, unfortunately. I think my poor Trenton has had all but an easy time adjusting to his ever-present mama returning to the work force.. and although I know the socialization and structure of being in daycare throughout the day is good for him, it breaks my heart to see him struggle with changes, and a part of me wishes that I could wrap him up and hide somewhere, where it could be just the two of us and all his little fears and feelings would just go away and he could stay my tiny mama's boy forever and ever.
Alas, life doesn't work like that, and come tomorrow I will spend another evening away, another evening where I don't get to tuck him in, safe and warm and kiss his nose before he drifts off to sleep. I will sneak in once I arrive and steal a touch of his cheek and whisper an "I love you" after he is already lost in dreamland.

But for today, It's just you and me.

The boy that nobody knows.

He sits, quietly, immersed and lost in his own world. He builds, he creates, he imagines.
A world all his own, where he is king.
Tall towers, skyscrapers, spaceships, airplanes, fast cars.
Apple trees, music, dessert before dinner.
Houses made from blocks, changed on a whim.

A world with no noise, no confusion, no words. Just understanding.
Where nobody says hurtful words, or throws daggers from their eyes,
straight through his heart.

He doesn't know it yet but one day he'll break free.
He'll jump over the hurdles, clear them with ease.
He'll turn his back on the words, the noise, the confusion.
There is nothing that can hold him back.
King of his world.
One day.

Wordless Wednesday {Peekaboo}

365 days, come and gone.

So, christmas has come and gone and there may as well have been crickets chirping over at mamabee. I have not forgotten, just pushed aside while I try and claw my way through the chaos and allow myself a few minutes of time to write.

Between starting a new job, keeping a house, running ragged after 3 busy kids and trying to keep calm through a hectic time of year.. I've been trying to enjoy a rare cup of coffee without tap, tapping at the keyboard.

In a few short days, the new year will be upon us.. 2012.. I can't help but wonder what the new year will bring.. there have been so many changes as of late, both good and not so good. 2012 will bring the 9th year of parenthood upon me as my oldest child and only daughter celebrates her last year in the single digits.. whether I'm ready for it or not, and the end of the year may bring preparations of putting our home on the market and moving onto something better (and closer to work!). Big changes. Bring it on.

Life is good.. busy, bustling, .. but good.
We are happy, we are whole. Through another year we stand together, hands clasped, facing what comes our way, ready for anything.

Happy new year friends, may it bring love, joy and laughter to you and yours.

Untitled.

Have you ever wondered why so many women cry so easily and so often?


 Our shoulders are strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
 We have the inner strength to endure both childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from our children.

 We have a hardness that allows us to keep going when everyone else gives up, and the strength and desire to take care of our family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
 We have the sensitivity to love our children under any and all circumstances, even if our child says words that hurt us, or they turn their back on us.

We have the strength to carry our husbands through his faults, the desire to protect his heart,
  and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, we have a tear to shed. This is ours exclusively to use whenever it is needed.



"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair...
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

November, come and gone.

This month is going by so fast, just like last month and the one before.

November brought a first birthday to our youngest and the first, albeit light, snowfall. Winter is upon us, friends.. are you ready? I'm so not. If it could stay september all year round I would be a happy, happy girl.
I must say though, we are coming up to christmas much more prepared than ever before, and I hope it;s a sign of things to come.. the time of year is so much less stressful when you take it one day at a time and don't attempt to cram it all into a few short weeks.
This will be the first year in a long time that we will be staying home for Christmas.. with my new job among other things, we decided that a quiet Christmas is what we want this year.. us at home, the kids actually getting to play with their new toys on Christmas day, and a nice dinner, followed by a long sleep... it will definitely feel strange though, we haven't had such a holiday in a long time now and something will feel off about not rushing around and being surrounded by the family that we adore. I'm not sure that this will be a routine, but for this year, it works.

We have a few things on our calander over the next few weeks, my work christmas party is on Sunday.. Rob's birthday party is on the 6th, and his work Christmas party is on the 10th. His employer really goes above and beyond for their annual event. It is an overnight stay, and up until now has always been held at a lovely place called Eganridge in Bobcaygeon. (http://www.eganridge.com/) Last year, we brought a 4 week old Trenton along with us, and he slept almost the whole time. This year, it's at a lovely place called Viamede in Stoney Lake (http://www.viamede.com/) and there will be no children joining us. We're both looking forward to the event, but mostly to curling up at the end of the night in bed beside a crackling fire, with a beautiful view of the lake.

How are you spending your holidays? Do you have special traditions within your family? Are your December days mostly quiet or very busy?