To my oldest child on her birthday.

My dearest Haileybear;

Something happened yesterday.
Yesterday you magically turned from a 7 year old into an 8 year old. Know what that means? That means that I have been a mother for 8 whole years.

From the time you wok up until the time you went to bed, you were in a fabulous mood. Something about birthdays does that to us, doesn't it? Even as we get older, and we complain to everyone around us that we are getting older, something about our birthday makes us feel special, if only for a day.

I'm not going to lie and tell you that I'm completely happy about your birthdays though. It makes me really emotional to see you grow so quickly. You are my first child and my only daughter. Something about that makes you special and gives us an incredible bond that we will always share, no matter what.
But I can tell you this,

Watching you grow has been one of the greatest pleasures in my life.
You are unbelievably beautiful. (Did I really make you?!) You are sensitive and kind. You are so, so, so smart. You are diplomatic. You are a good friend. You are a good person.

Yesterday, you wanted sticky chicken in the slow cooker and rice for dinner. We had cupcakes made with love and cream cheese frosting. You opened your presents from us (clothes, shoes) and from your brothers (sunglasses, earrings) and were so happy and grateful, and then Daddy came downstairs with your new bike and you were the most excited I have seen you in a long time and it made my heart smile.

I love you babygirl. Here's to the next 8, beautiful years.

Love, Mommy

The original Baby.. (Dear H)

**Originally posted @LJ on 6/1/10**

My daughter sits not 10 feet away and I just sit there, watching, observing.
She sits quietly, doing the same to her little brother, watching, observing. She patiently and gently shows him how to open a piece on his lego castle, then goes back to observing his every move. She silently rolls her eyes at his opposite nature, at his noise.
& there we sit, her watching him, me watching her. She sits with her hands in her lap and her legs curled underneath me, in the same way that I sit. I can almost hear the music that I know is playing in her head.
I can see the future when I look at her. She has grown into herself.. her round baby features gone as fast as they were there.

Oh, the feelings that you make me feel...

She made me feel everything for the first time, and always will. The feeling when she outgrew her first sleeper, when she stopped grasping my finger tightly in her fist, when she spoke, when she took her first steps away from me, when she lost her first tooth..
These days, the days past get harder and harder to remember, as my daughter metamorphosizes right in front of my eyes. It feels like I am mother to a little me.
She is sensitive, she is kind. She is always, always daydreaming. She is happy and smart and stunning. She is maternal and gentle.

I love that you are going to be a big sister again, I couldnt ask for a better big sister for your siblings.
But you, my dear, are my original baby. Always have been, always will be.
I am so in love with you.