Time {& lack thereof}

You hear it all the time as a parent.

"The time goes by so fast, you won't believe it."
"The older you get, the faster life passes you by"
"Cherish them while they're small, before you know it, they'll be grown."
Those cliches that you hear during your first pregnancy and the first year of your first child's life.
And then, before you know it, you start saying them yourself.

"I can't believe he/she is (x age) already.. where did the past (x years) go??!!"We all hear it. We all do it. Because it's true.


Last night, dear friends of our welcomed their first baby into the world. He came out a beautiful, blonde, healthy 8lbs and 9oz of pure amazing. I am beyond happy for them. Their journey into parenthood has been long and arduous, and this child was wanted so, so badly. If anyone deserves such happiness, it is them and the boy will be loved immesurably. Without a doubt.
Today I went to see the happy family of three at the hospital. I knew it would be an emotional visit on so many levels, but I was unprepared for just how emotional it would be.

I saw a newborn for the first time since my boy was born exactly 16 weeks ago. It was hard proof that my tiny little baby is growing. Fast.
It is so bittersweet. I love seeing him play and learn and reach milestones. It is amazing, no matter how many children you have, it will never cease to be amazing.
But this time, it's the last. The last pregnancy, the last baby. The last first smile. The last first laugh. The last breastfeeding relationship. The last finger grasp and spit bubbles. The last time I will carry around a car seat and wake up for midnight feedings and fall asleep with my baby on my chest. The last time I will lay awake listening for little breaths,
in & out.. in & out.
It feels as though a small part of our lives is behind us, and while we are looking ahead at our future with our family with immese positivity and wonder and joy, there is a part of my heart that aches so incredibly.
We are closing the chapter of pregnancy and birth and babies and entering another chapter in our lives together. who knows what the future will bring, but for now, I'm going to make sure that I savor each and every tiny moment that I possibly can...

Because time goes by so fast.