Home Sweet Home {Part 3 - Playroom}

Welcome to Part 3 of 8 of our little home tour. You can find Part 1 - Kitchen; here. and Part 2 - Dining Room; here.
As I've mentioned before, our home is very, very old and thus doesn't have a basement useable for much other than storage that doesn't mind getting a little damp. It was important to us while house house shopping, that the kids get a little space to themselves. The baby has a small corner to call his own in the living room, currently, but when he gets a little older, we'll move his things into the playroom as well.
I'll admit, while I would love to have a basement/rec room type thing one day, it is nice having the kids on the same level as us for the time being.
The playroom used to be alot bigger.. way too big as far as I'm concerned, but we remedied that by building a bigger room for Ms. Hailey as the very end, a room with a closet, something that the smaller bedrooms upstairs don't have (but we'll get to that later!). So with the new wall came new floors (there was only a painted plywood sub-floor when we moved in) and we downsized alot of the junk that the kids had outgrown. During the winter months, the playroom gets alot of mileage and I'm grateful that the kids have a place for their things that they can call theirs..
Here are some before and afters. The room is right off the kitchen, and the white door belongs to Hailey, while the wooden pocket doors leads to the workshop/laundry room. The first picture with Hailey in the rocker is what the room looked like when we bought the house, the 3 following are what it looked like when it was filled with their things and the last set are what it looks like in it's current state. Enjoy!

Just so you know.

Oh my gosh. Is it really the last week of July?
How does time manage to fly by faster and faster with each passing year?

We have lots to look forward to in the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is Rob's last day of work before his holidays start, (he gets a whole 19 days off!!) and somewhere between Sunday and Monday, we are expecting his parents to arrive from across the country for a little visit that we have been anxiously anticipating for quite some time.
This will be their first time meeting baby Trent, and we haven't seen them since our wedding, nearly 2 years ago.
We have a few fun things planned for the few short days that they will be here, we are going to the local reptile zoo, which Kaleb has been dying to go to, Grandma, Hailey and I are going to get pedicures while the boys go fishing, and we have a wedding next saturday. (Which is the main reason for their visit).
Time (and the visit) will fly by, as it always does.. but I am so looking forward to having some family around for a few days. Especially family that means so much to us.

Please forgive me, friends, if you don't hear from me very much over the next few weeks as I will probably be busy soaking in all the love.

Wordless Wednesday {Sunshine Boy}

On staying cool {& staying sane}

This week, our temperatures reached record highs, and along with most of the rest of the continent, we are soaking in plenty of heat.
Yesterday the mercury rose to 37C, with the humidity reaching an unprecidented 47C.
Needless to say, other than a few in & out dips into the (not-so-cold) pool, the kids and I spent most of our time indoors, watching movies, colouring, playing video games and overall trying to escape the brutal humidity that lurked outside our windows.
These days, I am trying my best to keep the kids occupied during the summer break and when we are all trapped inside it's all we can do to not go crazy.
Here's hoping the weather lets up just a little so we can go back to enjoying our busy summer. And hey, maybe we'll even get an awesome thunderstorm when all is said and done.



Stay cool, friends.

Wordless Wednesday {Shameless Self-Portraiture}

I am from.

I am from tall mountains and wood paneled houses, from plastic animals mangled by lawnmower blades, big jars of buttons and home made stew that warms your soul.

I am from the feeling of family and zuchini bread for friendly bus drivers. From the imaginary restaurants and the corn swaying in the wind.

I am from the beautiful trails and ocean waves and the smell of salt that permeates through you, from treehouses and sand between my toes.

I am from banging pots and pans on the front porch on midnight of the new year and freckled skin, from hurricanes and spread arms, sliding on wet grass.

I am from the Palmers and Bernards, Yvonne and Diana and Alicia and Gregory. I am from the musical. From the frugal and tough skinned, but soft hearted.. the quick to laugh, the quick to cry and the quick to forgive.

From exagerrated religion and always doing the right thing. I am from choosing morals over your heart and loving your neighbor.

I'm from Campbell River, killers, lovers, fighters, from slow-cooked meals from scratch. I am from watching ‘Little House on the Prairie’ through the dining room banisters, from handmade clothing and sitting on trains.

From the fireplace that is stained with blood, dancing. From the forks and spoons on the front porch, and the brothers and sisters with no fathers.. I am from sunburned skin and cliff jumping. From picking up frogs and exploring the woods.



I am from the front hall closet, the attic, the basement, packed in baskets and bins.. edges peeling and worn.. from disks and hard drives, forever holding a place in my heart.

Wordless Wednesday {The crawler}

Twelve Months of Trenton {Eight}

I'm writing this a day late. You know how the weekends go during the summer, it's like you can barely sit down and breathe let alone write a blog post to your eight month old son.
I digress.

Trenton, you are eight months old. This month you have learned and discovered so many new things, it has made time fly by even faster, if that's even possible at this point.
You are crawling. You're like a little machine! You figured out one day, while on your tummy, that if you smack your hands down and then use them to drag your body, it takes you places! It didn't take long for you to figure out that you could go faster and faster. every day when Dada gets home from work, you drag your little body across the floor to greet him.
Speaking of dada, you can say "Dada!" although, most often you're talking to my boobs when you want milk. I guess we'll have to work on that one. You can also say, "Mama!" but again, out of context. It's okay though, I don't mind. I also hear the "Ba" sound from time to time, mostly when you're talking to you toys. sometimes you will put all your sounds together and it sounds like this:
"Ahh-dabahbahmmmama!" I can tell that you are very serious when you say this.
You smile and laugh ALWAYS. Funny tht I say that because in this particulr month's photo you were absolutely not interested in having your picture taken, would not smile, and would not have any part in it unless you soother was in your mouth. I probably should have waited until after nap time.
Speking of sleeping, you're pretty good at it. You will usually hve 2 naps throughout the day and are out for the count by 8ish-pm. You still wake up 1-2 times per night for milk, and I still get sympathetic looks from people, telling me that I need to remedy that situation for some reason. Baby, let's make something clear.. you can need me at night for as long as you want. I don't mind one little bit.
This month, you have almost mastered sitting up unassisted. You can do it for a few minutes before you start to lean, and sometimes you're too distracted to put out your hand to catch yourself.
OH. And on Saturday, you know, the day before you turned 8 months, you decided to STAND in your crib. I came in to get you from your nap and there you were, standing, and crying. Down the crib mattress went.
This month, you grew 4 more teeth, you porr little soul. You now have both bottom, both top and one and a half eye teeth. So far we haven't had any biting incidents. Let's keep it that way, deal?

Weight/Length: 16.7lb, 28in.
Size: Finally a size 3 diaper, 3month onesies, 3-6 & 6 sleepers.
Favourites: You love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and your Jolly Jumper. Also, I don't hear a peep from you if you're outside. You're not too sure about the pool.
Foods: You eat everything. You love sweet potatos and fruit. Especially watermelon and banana. Watching you eat peas is really funny because you chase them all over the place, and you don't quite have the pincer grasp down yet, so like I said, funny.

Oh, and you're beautiful.

Trying to be selfless {& putting myself last.. first?}

I have worked on and off through my life, but for the better part of my time as a mother, I have been home with my kids. My daughter was born when I was far too young to have a child, and we struggled when she was a baby. I attended college for the earlier part of her life and obtained a degree in Early Childhood Education. I worked in public daycare for a little while until we moved further from the city, where I worked at meaningless jobs for a little while. Once Kaleb came along I stayed at home for a year, until we moved again, this time out west to follow Rob's family and see where it would take us. While we lived there and once we moved back, I continued working until after we bought our house. At that point, it was beginning to become evident that Kaleb was struggling and that he needed me home with him, so I quit my job to be home with him full-time. I babysat a few kids here and there but nothing ever really stuck.
Over the past few years I have flirted with the idea of going back to school, even though the thought is terrifying.. it is something that I really hope to do, and I let myself get my hopes up that I was going to return in January, after the baby's first birthday.

Unfortunately for me, that's just not going to happen.

Being a stay-at-home mom has been relatively easy for me up until now. Truthfully, I am doig what comes naturally to me, and that's caring for my children. Sure, I run out of patience on some days.. and other days I get a little stir-crazy.. but for the most part, I am genuinly content with where I am.

But I know it can't last forever.

Deep down in there, there's a part of me that aches to do something meaningful with my life.. to work with children like my son and feel rewarded and the end of the day. There is a part of me that yearns to make something better of myself.. to be proud of myself and subsequently have my children be proud of their mother.

It always comes down to money, in the end.

We live on one income, we're used to this and we do fine on a day-to-day basis, but to factor in tuition, along with the cost of childcare, without the second income.. just isn't doable right now.
I had to sit down and really think about this.. on one hand, I could be selfish and just do it, and on the other, I could put my family and my marriage first and set aside myself for a little longer.

I think the answer is as obvious to you as it was to me.

Rob and I already have the odds stacked up against us. We fight stereotypes every day. We got together young, had kids young, bought property young.. by all rhyme and reason we should end in a messy divorce and end up poverty-stricken, but that just isn't going to happen for us.
Maybe if I hadn't married my best friend.. maybe if we didn't have an immeasurable amount of love and respect for one another, maybe if it was anyone but us.
That being said, I feel responsible to not put an unnecessary strain on our marriage, be it financial or otherwise, so for now, furthering my education will take the back burner.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me and my family, but I know this, beyond any shadow of a doubt.

We will get there, together.

Home Sweet Home {Part Two - Dining Room}

Welcome to Part 2 of 8 of our little home tour. You can find Part 1 - Kitchen; here.

Our dining room might be one of my least favourite rooms in the house. That's not to say that I don't like it, per se, but it just is not one of my favourites. Mainly because it doesn't really get used more than once or twice a year, and is just a room with things in it that I have to clean. Har, har.
A small corner of the room has been dedicated to being Rob's little office space for about a year and a half. He recently moved his things into it, once we were finished renovating, and since the man is so often strapped to his desk, it's nice having him on the same level as us.
While it isn't my favourite, it is the most rewarding to look at.. Oh man. The dining room was A HOT DAMN MESS when we bought this house. There was old, weird, pasted-on wallpaper, a false brick wall, the stairs were bare cedar, the walls were in dire need of repair, it just was no the prettiest thing you've ever seen. As far as furniture, we didn't buy anything new for this room. There's a table that needs refinishing, an enormous (and heavy) china cabinet that houses a bunch of crap, a beautiful teacher's desk that I picked up at an auction for Rob (which he promptly refinished- and did a beautiful job) some paintings from a local shop that imports from indonesia, an antique record player (again from the auction) which is used for photos and will one day be a liquor cabinet, a cedar chest full of blankets (hello 1700's house with no storage closets..) and my late father's guitar.
In case you can't tell, I have a hard time deviating from brown when it comes to painting.. and as you continue to see into our home, you'll start to notice the trend continuing through much of the house. I'd love to experiment with different colours, but all of our things are so earthy and country, I have a hard time pulling things together without brown walls.
Anyway, without further delay, I present to you Rob's office, part time dining room. I've included a few before pictures of the disaster for your viewing pleasure.
Enjoy!

Separation Anxiety {Part Deux}

So this past weekend, I went to Rob's cousins bachelorette party in ottawa, which just happens to be a little over 3 hours away from home sweet home.

On friday night, I packed my belongings into a little bag, put what I needed into the back of my car, and wrote out a list for Rob.

I don't care what the house looks like when i get back, as long as there are four smiling faces.

I didn't sleep a wink. I tossed, I turned. I went through every possible terrible scenario in my head, as only a mother can.

On Saturday morning I dragged myself out of bed and spent the early hours with my babies. I don't think I put the littlest one down for an instant. I felt sick.

Rob, give me a reason not to go.. I'll stay home if you ask me to.

My loving husband just smiled knowingly and shook his head. He reasoned with me that of course I'm going. It's necessary, and that they were all going to be just fine.
Saturday afternoon, I gave their four faces one last (or seven) kisses, jumped in my car and started driving, without looking back.

Here I go

A few hours (and a few phone calls) later, I arrived at my destination and got myself ready to enjoy the night. The night went on, I had a good time and while I missed my family dearly, I didn't worry. Not once.
I called my sleepy husband in the wee hours of the morning and after some reassurance from him, I dozed off to the images of him and the littlest one fast asleep in our bed, the older kids safe and sound in theirs.
I called again as soon as I woke up in the morning, while I was basically strapped in a chair, relieving my body from a night without nursing.

"He was an angel, Mama. You'd be so proud."

My heart swelled with both pride and a little bit of sadness. (That whole irrational thinking that we get about our babies not needing us so badly) and I told him how much I couldn't wait to see their faces.
When I finally turned into our driveway after another few hours of driving, I was greeted my two running, soaking wet kids in their swimsuits, screaming at me how much they had missed me and how happy they were that I was home.

Swallow that lump, Janyne. If you cry, they're going to think something is wrong. And oh, there is nothing in the world that has ever felt so right.

My husband walks out of the house, carrying the littlest one who is smiling an ear-to-ear grin, and stretches his little arms out towards me.

"He was perfect, Mama. I told him, too. I thanked him for being so good for Dad."

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and there have never been truer words spoken. After only one night away, I have never felt more at home.

This is the life I was meant to live. This is home. This is happiness.