365 days, come and gone.

So, christmas has come and gone and there may as well have been crickets chirping over at mamabee. I have not forgotten, just pushed aside while I try and claw my way through the chaos and allow myself a few minutes of time to write.

Between starting a new job, keeping a house, running ragged after 3 busy kids and trying to keep calm through a hectic time of year.. I've been trying to enjoy a rare cup of coffee without tap, tapping at the keyboard.

In a few short days, the new year will be upon us.. 2012.. I can't help but wonder what the new year will bring.. there have been so many changes as of late, both good and not so good. 2012 will bring the 9th year of parenthood upon me as my oldest child and only daughter celebrates her last year in the single digits.. whether I'm ready for it or not, and the end of the year may bring preparations of putting our home on the market and moving onto something better (and closer to work!). Big changes. Bring it on.

Life is good.. busy, bustling, .. but good.
We are happy, we are whole. Through another year we stand together, hands clasped, facing what comes our way, ready for anything.

Happy new year friends, may it bring love, joy and laughter to you and yours.

Untitled.

Have you ever wondered why so many women cry so easily and so often?


 Our shoulders are strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
 We have the inner strength to endure both childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from our children.

 We have a hardness that allows us to keep going when everyone else gives up, and the strength and desire to take care of our family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
 We have the sensitivity to love our children under any and all circumstances, even if our child says words that hurt us, or they turn their back on us.

We have the strength to carry our husbands through his faults, the desire to protect his heart,
  and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, we have a tear to shed. This is ours exclusively to use whenever it is needed.



"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair...
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

November, come and gone.

This month is going by so fast, just like last month and the one before.

November brought a first birthday to our youngest and the first, albeit light, snowfall. Winter is upon us, friends.. are you ready? I'm so not. If it could stay september all year round I would be a happy, happy girl.
I must say though, we are coming up to christmas much more prepared than ever before, and I hope it;s a sign of things to come.. the time of year is so much less stressful when you take it one day at a time and don't attempt to cram it all into a few short weeks.
This will be the first year in a long time that we will be staying home for Christmas.. with my new job among other things, we decided that a quiet Christmas is what we want this year.. us at home, the kids actually getting to play with their new toys on Christmas day, and a nice dinner, followed by a long sleep... it will definitely feel strange though, we haven't had such a holiday in a long time now and something will feel off about not rushing around and being surrounded by the family that we adore. I'm not sure that this will be a routine, but for this year, it works.

We have a few things on our calander over the next few weeks, my work christmas party is on Sunday.. Rob's birthday party is on the 6th, and his work Christmas party is on the 10th. His employer really goes above and beyond for their annual event. It is an overnight stay, and up until now has always been held at a lovely place called Eganridge in Bobcaygeon. (http://www.eganridge.com/) Last year, we brought a 4 week old Trenton along with us, and he slept almost the whole time. This year, it's at a lovely place called Viamede in Stoney Lake (http://www.viamede.com/) and there will be no children joining us. We're both looking forward to the event, but mostly to curling up at the end of the night in bed beside a crackling fire, with a beautiful view of the lake.

How are you spending your holidays? Do you have special traditions within your family? Are your December days mostly quiet or very busy?

Wordless Wednesday: Flashback.

On this day.. one year ago.

This photo was taken on November 16th, 2010. 6 days after baby T was born.
I remember this day, even though much of it was spent just like the image depicts.. sleeping, with my new baby in my arms. I remember that Rob had taken the older kids out while Trenton and I slept off the exhaustion of the past week.. we spent the whole day on the couch together, nursing, talking, cuddling, sleeping.
Rob came in with the kids at the end of the day and took this photo of us.

I remember that this way the day that the fogginess started to clear, this was the day the reality of life settled in. This was the day my emotions hit me like a rock to my stomach.
I remember how I felt.. I felt like the luckiest person to ever walk the planet, I was completely blissed... I was staring in awe at the family we had created, the family that was finally complete.. and that's exactly how I felt.. complete. Like if I died at that very moment, there would be no regret.

As long as I live, I will remember that feeling. Through the hardships, through the financial difficulties and arguments and angsty teenagers, I will remember that feeling. I will remember my purpose on this planet and remember how lucky and loved I am. I will remember that I have felt love deeper than I could have ever imagined. I will remember that I felt complete.

What else in the world could I ever need?

Twelve Months Of Trenton {Twelve}

Dear Trenton;

It happened. a whole twelve months have passed since you came into the world. Despite my efforts to make the year happen as slowly as possible, it flew by, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
You're a whole year old.

It seems like someone flipped a switch the minute you turned one. Your words sound clearer, your steps are strong and determined, you know exactly what you want.
You have lots of words now, "Mama, Dada, Baba, Milk, Yeah..." I think my favourites are when you call your sister.. you go toddling toward her room with a firm, "Heeeyeeeee!" She loves it as much as I do. The other is when you see the cat, Otep. You point, and smack your lips and say "Owwwww" which means Otep, we know, because it's the only time we hear that sound come from your mouth. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.

You're not only walking, you're almost running now. You love being able to walk on your own outside and explore. It will be so much fun watching you toddle around in your snowsuit and discover the snow for the first time.
You seem to like daycare, but you only just stopped crying at dropoff.. but every time I pick you up, you are all smiles.
You're incredibly cheeky.. you know exactly what "No" means, and when we say it, you give us this hilarious grin that says "What are you going to do about it?"

Your personality develops a little more with each passing day and I am having a blast getting to know the little you. I could just explode, I love you so much.

I am happy that this project is done, I don't think we would have successfully gotten another photo... you were not having it by the end.. but I know I'll be glad that we stuck through and did it together. It will be nice to look back on.

I love you, little man. Here's to the next year.

Twelve Months of Trenton {Eleven}

I am seriously, unforgivably, inexcusably late in writing this update. I only have one more of these to go.. can you believe it? It's a blessing in disguise though, because I don't think we'd be able to continue even if I wanted to.. it has become next to impossible to take a decent picture of you, you are all.over.the.place.
You wiggle and laugh and roll and turn and shoot me this look that says, "Lay still? Mama, you cannot be serious." You don't even look like yourself in these shots!
As hard as it is to take your picture these last few months, I'm so, so happy that we did this little project together.. seeing the changes, watching you grow before my eyes, writing all about your personality and milestones.. it's been a challenge, but one that I can enjoy for the rest of my life.

This month, at the very, very end, you took your first steps. It wasn't even so much that you took the steps that was so emotional, it was how.
Oma and Opa came over for a visit on this day.. but it wasn't the good kind. Oma sat me down on the couch and explained that they wouldn't be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner, as planned.. that she was having surgery on the friday before, and that it was because they were removing a lump from her breast. She was telling me that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer.
With the blink of an eye our light and airy visit turned heavy, as I harboured and processed the news that the only family we have here is sick. I watched the woman whom I consider to be one of the strongest, break down right there in my living room, telling me that giving me this news is the hardest thing she's ever done.
Soon after, Daddy, Hailey, Kaleb and Opa joined us in the living room, and we went on pretending all was well.. for you and your siblings, of course...
I sat on the floor with you.You stood, using my legs as support, and just like that, took 5 whole steps to Oma. 5 steps that meant the world to us at that moment.

You haven't stopped since. You were cautious at first, as soon as you'd realize there was nobody holding onto you, you'd drop down on your bum. Now, you can stand up, unsupported from sitting, and take brave steps all the time.
You're walking into your second year on this earth, without fear.. because you know that Mama and Daddy and right there behind you, and always will be.

Happy 11 months, baby boy. Thank you for being you.

30 Day Challenge {Day 5}

Day 5- From a high angle
                                 
                                   

30 Day Challenge {Day 3&4}

I'm doing this as 2 parts for a reason. Day 3 is supposed to be a picture of clouds. Simple enough, however.. all we have is clouds. No contrasting blue sky, just grey, dreary, overcast, rainy skies. I thought it would have cleared up, giving me an opportunity to get a nicer picture, but no such luck.

Onward.

Day 3- Clouds.

Day 4- Something green.
Baby T's favourite, snuggly blanket. Hand-crocheted with love by a friend.

Babyhood {& how it's coming to a close}

Walking.

The baby is walking.

Stumbly still, and only when he doesn't realize that nobody has ahold of him (when he does realize, he promptly sits down)but there have been enough steps in a row for me to say, without hesitation, that he is walking.

Funny how something that makes me well up with sadness and nostalgia can, at the exact same moment, make me well up with immense joy and pride.

My baby. Walking.

A little bit of rainy day inspiration.

SOURCE

30 Day Challenge {Day Two}

Day Two- What you wore today.

Here we go again with the bad quality cell-phone pictures.. I'm not getting off to a very good start here. Perhaps I should have started when the battery situation for the real camera was worked out? Oh well. It is what it is. Maybe next week. =)



I am not one to fuss over my body, or what goes on my body. Never have, probably never will.
While I do feel nice every so often when I have a reason to dress up, those are few and far between.
I'm happy when the clothes I'm wearing are comfortable and fit properly. Being a very (very!) short person.. ( 5,1 with shoes ) paired with having a curvy shape and being heavy chested, finding those clothes can be a challenge. Pants are either too long or the waist doesn't fit properly, or shirts are too short, or too long and too tight, or all of the above.
Like I said, comfy with a good fit... also easy access for breastfeeding, which usually means layers.
 That's what this girl likes. No muss, no fuss.

Today, is Saturday. Housework day. I'm wearing jeans, a white tank top & green tshirt, with a black sweater overtop (Hello 9C weather today!! brrr...)

Now that that's over with, can we talk about something interesting? ;)

30 Day Challenge {Day One}

Day One- A Self Portrait.

Exactly zero effort was put into today's picture, due to me being a sinus-infected, exhausted excuse for a human being who just finished putting away 5 loads of laundry.

From Tree to Table {Hello, Autumn}

*Please excuse the horrible quality of the photos in these posts. They were all taken with the iPhone since I am apparantly too scatter-brained to fix the battery situation in my camera.

Autumn is by far my favourite season. Perfect hoodie & jeans weather, cool breezes, beautiful coulours, the crunch of leaves, the smells. Perfection.
Fall is our house means lots of baked good and the smell of cinnamon.. the kids (and husband!) have come to expect the annual trip to the orchard, picking out pumpkins and hot apple cider.
Even our wedding had notes of our family traditions, we were married in October and a few weeks prior, away we went to the orchard, lovingly picked each apple, and then slow-cooked and canned apple butter to give our guests as favors.

This year, we came home with 2 little pumpkins, some cider and 4 bags of apples. Some for eating, some for baking.

Last night I made pie and apple crisp the kitchen was filled with smells of baked apple, cinnamon and love.

What is your favourite season? What are some of your family traditions that bring warmth on cold days?

Happy Autumn .Happy Home.
                 
                                            
  

Transition.

Please do excuse my recent lack of presence here.. I promise things are okay, just very, very busy.

I just finished my first week back at work after more than 3 years at home. The decision was not sudden, as it may seem to have been.. but was just the opposite in fact.

I've known that I wasn't going to be staying home much longer for about 2 years. I decided that once both older kids started school full-time, I'd start the transition.
The decision to stay home was not made lightly, either.. it was a combination of buying a house out of town, having a child at home, and Kaleb's diagnosis that made my mind up for me.

I'm only back part-time, for now.. I need to be at home with Trenton a few days a week. He has been watched by a friend this week, and starts at daycare on Wednesday, which is something I am so happy about. I was really nervous while doing the interview process at a few dayhomes, and I failed to find a connection that made the prospect of returning to work seem worthwhile. I decided to interview the public daycare center here (which size is relative to the size of our town) and I breathed a sigh of relief. T seemed at home the moment we set him on the floor of the infant room.
The peace of mind I will feel at work, knowing that my baby is happy and well taken care of is worth everything in the world.

So that's what's been happening as of late.

I'm settling in at work, doing advertising and PR for a local real estate company. It's pretty cushy as far as I'm concerned.. I have great hours, I'm able to get the kids off to school in the morning and I'm home for dinner. I have a great boss with 4 children and the ability to see my need for flexibility.

It's perfect fit, and life is good.

Recipe Time! {Italian Wedding Soup}

There are lots and lots of versions of Italian Wedding Soup, all of which my husband and I are quite fond of. This is my version.

Here's what you'll need:

1Lb of Ground Turkey
1/4 C of Breadcrumbs
1 Egg
5C of Stock (I used chicken, vegetable would be just as good, wouldn't recommend beef)
1 Tbs Olive Oil
1 Small Onion, Chopped.
1.5 C of Acini Di Pepe Pasta (You could also use Orzo, or any small pasta)
Lots and Lots of Spinach

Saute onions in the olive oil in a large soup pot (Did I mention this is a one-pot recipe? Even better!) on low heat. Meanwhile, combine turkey, breadcrumbs and egg. Form into small balls, add to onion and cook until evenly browned.
Add the stock and pasta, cook over medium heat for 7-10 minutes or until pasta is cooked.
Add spinach. If you're using fresh, you'll need alot.. I fill the pot to the very top, and then replace the lid and simmer for another 5-7 minutes, or until the spinach has wilted, and there is just the right amount, so I'd say to go by your tastes.

Add pepper to taste, enjoy!








 

Something To Look Forward To {30 Day Photo Challenge}

I've decided to try and complete the "Thirty day Photo Challenge" that I've seen floating around lately.
My goal is to start is a few days, and be finished by the end of October.
That's not to say that I think my photos are anything special, but I find great enjoyment in it.

Wish me luck!


30 Day Photo Challenge

Day One: Self Portrait
Day Two: What you wore today
Day Three: Clouds
Day Four: Something Green
Day Five: From a high angle
Day Six: From a low angle
Day Seven: Fruit
Day Eight: A bad habit
Day Nine: Someone you love
Day Ten: Childhood memory
Day Eleven: Something blue
Day Twelve: Sunset
Day Thirteen: Yourself with 13 things
Day Fourteen: Eyes
Day Fifteen: Silhouette
Day Sixteen: Long Exposure
Day Seventeen: Technology
Day Eighteen: Your shoes
Day Nineteen: Something orange
Day Twenty: Bokeh
Day Twenty-One: Faceless Self-portrait
Day Twenty-Two: Hands
Day Twenty-Three: Sunflare
Day Twenty-Four: Animal
Day Twenty-Five: Something Pink
Day Twenty-Six: Close-Up
Day Twenty-Seven: From a Distance
Day Twenty-Eight: Flowers
Day Twenty-Nine: Black and White
Day Thirty: Self Portrait

Twelve Months Of Trenton {Ten}

Baby boy, you are ten months old.

Something about ten months sounds less like infant and more like toddler.. maybe it's the double digits.

Speaking of toddler, you are close to toddling. You take larger and larger strides (while holding furniture and legs and anything else you can grasp) and are gaining balance and confidence with every shaky but strong step your little legs take.
You crawl like the wind, and have recently discovered that it's much easier on your little old man knees if you crawl on your feet, something your dad and I liken to looking like a komodo dragon.. especially when you think we aren't looking and the stairs are unguarded.. you are fast, but we are still faster.

You have no fear. If it weren't for us, you'd crawl right off the edge of the bed or the top of the stairs.. we should really work on teaching you how to go backwards, or it isn't going to end well.

You have more and more words and sounds all the time. You babble all the time, but never on command... we ask you to say "Mama" and you grin and stay silent. Obviously, you are nobody's puppet.
You make this growling sound when the food doesn't come fast enough, it's pretty much the funniest thing ever. You have a crazy funny personality that is much like your big brother.
One time, this past month, Hailey gave you a piece of romaine lettuce while I was making salad. You put it in your mouth and made a face like we were trying to feed you Anthrax.. you threw the lettuce down on your tray and slapped it repeatedly, as to make sure the lettuce would never try to reach your lips again.. OH the horror!!!

You're still an itty bitty thing, you are in size 3 diapers and have barely gained 7 pounds. I guess you decided to gain it all inside me, as to end my child bearing days with a bang.
I don't mind.. as long as you are healthy you can stay little forever as far as I'm concerned, but I know that won't be the case. One day, you'll be bigger and taller and stronger than your mama, and while those days come quicker and quicker, trust me when I say this;


"...as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

To My Son {the 6 year old}

My dear, dear, Kaleb;

Today you turned 6. We had a great day. You requested "Spaghetti and Meatballs" for dinner and I made a cheesecake with raspberries for dessert. It turned out a little wonky because I couldn't get it out of the pan but you didn't complain.
You woke up with a smile, despite it being your 3rd day of school in a row. As usual, you start the day with a little unintended humour:

"Why do I have to go to school on my birthday? Can't I just take the day off?"
That's you. You make us laugh all.the.time. You are so funny and you don't even realize it. But boy, do you love seeing us laugh.
This year has had it's ups and downs and I hope you know how proud we are of you. You went through therapy like a champ and you've improved so much, because you've worked so hard. Even when you really, really didn't feel like it.. you'd look over at me, and then you'd finish.
Just for me.

This is a big year, you started Grade One, meaning that you now go to school every day, just like your big sister. I know it makes you feel big. And you are..
Sometimes when I go in your room before I go to bed, just to check on you and pull your blanket from around your neck.. (where it always seems to end up.) I stand back in awe and I just stare. Sometimes I even call Daddy in.

ROB. He is SO BIG. He looks like a teenager in his bed.

As bittersweet as it all is, we love you, and we love watching you grow and learn. We are incredibly blessed to have such an amazing son in our lives. I love you, Monkey.

Happy Birthday.

The First Day

Today was the first day of school for the big kids.

How proud am I of my little first and third graders? I couldn't even begin to tell you.

"Mama!"

Baby T has been saying "Mama" (with purpose) for about a month now, but I have yet to capture it on video.

But a few days ago, after just a little persuasion, my charming little babe finally allowed me to film that special little word. And as soon as it began, it ended.

No more camera, Mama!
And without further delay, here is little Mr. T, uttering the best little word, ever.

Wordless Wednesday {Father & Son}

The Sound of Silence.

You can feel it in the air.
Summer is slowly drifting away.. the hot, sticky nights slowly becoming cooler, slowly becoming darker.
The breathing, in & out, in & out of sleeping babies and sleeping children next to the white noise of the fans in being replaced with the ruffling of bedcovers by children clad in pajamas instead of their bare, clammy, skin against cold sheets.

Soon the sound of lawnmowers will be replaced with the scratch, scratch, scratch of rakes on lawns as the confetti from the trees is bagged and thrown away, the last remnants of life from the trees.. as they go quiet until next time.
After that, will be the scraping of snow shovels and the crunching of snow beneath your feet.

Soon it will be school lunches and hot chocolate instead of sandwiches on the picnic table and ice cream treats. It will be layers and zippers and "I have to pee" once you're all bundled up.. instead of cartwheels in a bathing suit on the front lawn.

Soon the nights will get longer and the days will get shorter, and we'll find ourselves wondering where the time has gone, once again.

Winter isn't found amongst my favourite of seasons, it's true, but there is so much to look forward to. So until then, we will keep changing with the seasons, keep trudging through this life, optimistic as to what is around the next bend.

Wordless Wednesday {The Good Life}

And then there were 5 {Keep your chin up}

Rob's parents left almost a week ago to go back to Alberta.. I cannot even articulate how much I miss them.
I don't know if it's the fact that it's been nearly two years since we saw them last.. or maybe it's the way the kids are so in love with them.. maybe it's because I am so happy to have them near, or maybe it's because we are so lonely.

I don't know why it felt empty when they left, but Rob and I have been keeping ourselves so busy.. trying not to think too much about the cloud hanging over our heads.
Making sudden decisions to paint the kitchen and doing it in one day.. rearranging the living room to suppress that growing feeling of wanting to pack up everything and follow them to the end of the world, Rob up the the roof, finally re-shingling the mudroom..

Am I sounding just a little dramatic yet?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. all we have is each other.. just the 5 of us from day to day. We rely on each other for everything and our little family unit is strong and soldiers on, and we do it ourselves and we do it together. We have love and we have happiness, but there is loneliness there too... a yearning to have family close by, to have a mother who stops for coffees and accompanies my daughter and I for a pedicure and some girl-time.. to have a father to help with my husband with his little projects around the house and to pick on the kids and to barbeque for us on the weekends.

Little things.. little things you take for granted.

I don't regret our move back to Ontario.. we gave another province a try and it just wasn't for us and it's nobody's fault.I just wish life was easy.

I just miss the little things.. so, so much.

Home Sweet Home {Part 4 - Living Room}

Welcome to Part 4 of 8 of our little home tour. You can find Part 1 - Kitchen; here. Part 2 - Dining Room; here and Part 3 - Playroom; here.

Here is our little living room. Directly off both the dining room and kitchen, it isn't used much during the day, but at night it's where the boy and I put our feet up at the end of the day and spend our quiet nights together, chatting quietly, catching up on our favourite shows and unwinding.
As far as renovations go, we didn't do much in this room. We painted the walls before we moved in so we'd have a room that felt like ours while everything else was happening in the house. (I strongly reccommend doing this to any prospective renovaters.. You need a space to relax and get away from the mess of the house if you're going to be living in chaos!!) We replaced the trim & baseboards along the way and added new light fixtures, but that's pretty much it. Later this year we'll be replacing the 7 foot window with something that actually keeps the weather out and once the littlest one has grown a bit, it will be time for some new furniture.
Speaking of the littlest one, he takes up quite a bit of the living room right now, sure, there is a playroom.. but we like him being a little closer what with being a baby and all. :) I'm not sure why we felt the need to make a playspace for him though, since all he really does is stand and cruise along the furniture and make mad dashes for the stairs - which are finally gated... and the coffee table has been removed for the time being.
So, the living room is a mish mash of furniture and pieces and things that we've collected along the way. It's comfortable, it's a place to relax. It is well-used and well-loved.

Twelve Months Of Trenton {Nine}

9 months later, and here we are.

You turned 9 months old on Wednesday, little love, and on Thursday you had spent exactly as much time growing and learning in this world as you spent inside my body.
Forty weeks and one day.
That's how much time I've spent looking at your face and falling more and more in love with you as each second passes.
Eighty weeks and two days.
That's how long I've loved you, and it continues to grow and grow and grow.

This month you are officially a little terror on two legs. You crawl like a maniac and you stand and you climb. You choose the most dangerous things like the stairs and the slide and the wall unit. We moved the coffee table out of the living room this month because we learned the hard way with Hailey and we won't go down that road again.
Speaking of Hailey.. do you know how much your big sister loves you?? She dotes on you.. she talks to you about the world and is always right there behind you. We joke that her children will be wrapped in bubble wrap because she is so scared of, "what if he falls??".
You are loved, little one. More than you'll know.
You have words this month, you say, "Dada" and "Mama" and "Ya!Ya!Ya!". You say "mmmMih!" when you want milk and you try your hardest to say "Hi", which was your big brother's first word, by the way.
You wave on cue, and everytime we walk outside, even if there's nobody there to wave at and it's just about the cutest thing ever.
Your hair is getting so long and it has curls and it makes me die from the cuteness. You have 6 teeth and you. eat. everything.
Have I mentioned that I love you?

Weight/Length: 17.2lb 27.5in
Size: 6 month clothes, size 3 diapers.

By the way, these pictures are getting harder and harder to take. You do not like sitting still. :)

100 posts. {A little bit of everything}

This post marks 100 at my little corner of the WWW.. while I certainly made it past 100 at my old space, this new place is much more in a much different way. A place where I can share my stories, if with nobody but myself.. a place where I can write the way I want to write and keep a log of memories.

I'm proud to have reached 100, keeping a blog isn't as easy as it might sound, and there have most certainly been days where I've thought I might not make it. I think keeping a casual mindset regarding what I want this to be helps immensely.. keeps the pressure down to a bare minimum.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster, and I have much to share and update about. My mother and father-in-law made the long trip out to see us (and meet little T!) for the first time in almost two years and as always, time flew by before we could do anything about it.. we tried to enjoy each day as it came and make the most of our short time together, but the visit was short.. much shorter than we would have liked. We miss them. Everyday.

Last weekend we drove a few hours east to celebrate with Rob's family as his cousin married her longtime boyfriend. We had a great time and I think it may have been one of the best weddings I've had the pleasure of attending.. Rob's cousin and aunt pay great attention to detail and every little thing was just beautiful. I hope that the bride and groom had a wonderful time and are very happy together for the rest of their lives.

Little T turned 9 months old on Wednesday (Yes, I have an update coming!) Holy cow. 9 months. It is just unbelievable to me. 9 months...

Well, I suppose that's all and why shouldn't it be? It's alot if you ask me.. to cram into 2 short weeks of whirlwind wonderfulness.
100 posts later and I still have lots to say. Here's to the next 100.

x

Happy World Breastfeeding Week {8.5 Months Strong}

Home Sweet Home {Part 3 - Playroom}

Welcome to Part 3 of 8 of our little home tour. You can find Part 1 - Kitchen; here. and Part 2 - Dining Room; here.
As I've mentioned before, our home is very, very old and thus doesn't have a basement useable for much other than storage that doesn't mind getting a little damp. It was important to us while house house shopping, that the kids get a little space to themselves. The baby has a small corner to call his own in the living room, currently, but when he gets a little older, we'll move his things into the playroom as well.
I'll admit, while I would love to have a basement/rec room type thing one day, it is nice having the kids on the same level as us for the time being.
The playroom used to be alot bigger.. way too big as far as I'm concerned, but we remedied that by building a bigger room for Ms. Hailey as the very end, a room with a closet, something that the smaller bedrooms upstairs don't have (but we'll get to that later!). So with the new wall came new floors (there was only a painted plywood sub-floor when we moved in) and we downsized alot of the junk that the kids had outgrown. During the winter months, the playroom gets alot of mileage and I'm grateful that the kids have a place for their things that they can call theirs..
Here are some before and afters. The room is right off the kitchen, and the white door belongs to Hailey, while the wooden pocket doors leads to the workshop/laundry room. The first picture with Hailey in the rocker is what the room looked like when we bought the house, the 3 following are what it looked like when it was filled with their things and the last set are what it looks like in it's current state. Enjoy!

Just so you know.

Oh my gosh. Is it really the last week of July?
How does time manage to fly by faster and faster with each passing year?

We have lots to look forward to in the next few weeks.

Tomorrow is Rob's last day of work before his holidays start, (he gets a whole 19 days off!!) and somewhere between Sunday and Monday, we are expecting his parents to arrive from across the country for a little visit that we have been anxiously anticipating for quite some time.
This will be their first time meeting baby Trent, and we haven't seen them since our wedding, nearly 2 years ago.
We have a few fun things planned for the few short days that they will be here, we are going to the local reptile zoo, which Kaleb has been dying to go to, Grandma, Hailey and I are going to get pedicures while the boys go fishing, and we have a wedding next saturday. (Which is the main reason for their visit).
Time (and the visit) will fly by, as it always does.. but I am so looking forward to having some family around for a few days. Especially family that means so much to us.

Please forgive me, friends, if you don't hear from me very much over the next few weeks as I will probably be busy soaking in all the love.

Wordless Wednesday {Sunshine Boy}

On staying cool {& staying sane}

This week, our temperatures reached record highs, and along with most of the rest of the continent, we are soaking in plenty of heat.
Yesterday the mercury rose to 37C, with the humidity reaching an unprecidented 47C.
Needless to say, other than a few in & out dips into the (not-so-cold) pool, the kids and I spent most of our time indoors, watching movies, colouring, playing video games and overall trying to escape the brutal humidity that lurked outside our windows.
These days, I am trying my best to keep the kids occupied during the summer break and when we are all trapped inside it's all we can do to not go crazy.
Here's hoping the weather lets up just a little so we can go back to enjoying our busy summer. And hey, maybe we'll even get an awesome thunderstorm when all is said and done.



Stay cool, friends.

Wordless Wednesday {Shameless Self-Portraiture}

I am from.

I am from tall mountains and wood paneled houses, from plastic animals mangled by lawnmower blades, big jars of buttons and home made stew that warms your soul.

I am from the feeling of family and zuchini bread for friendly bus drivers. From the imaginary restaurants and the corn swaying in the wind.

I am from the beautiful trails and ocean waves and the smell of salt that permeates through you, from treehouses and sand between my toes.

I am from banging pots and pans on the front porch on midnight of the new year and freckled skin, from hurricanes and spread arms, sliding on wet grass.

I am from the Palmers and Bernards, Yvonne and Diana and Alicia and Gregory. I am from the musical. From the frugal and tough skinned, but soft hearted.. the quick to laugh, the quick to cry and the quick to forgive.

From exagerrated religion and always doing the right thing. I am from choosing morals over your heart and loving your neighbor.

I'm from Campbell River, killers, lovers, fighters, from slow-cooked meals from scratch. I am from watching ‘Little House on the Prairie’ through the dining room banisters, from handmade clothing and sitting on trains.

From the fireplace that is stained with blood, dancing. From the forks and spoons on the front porch, and the brothers and sisters with no fathers.. I am from sunburned skin and cliff jumping. From picking up frogs and exploring the woods.



I am from the front hall closet, the attic, the basement, packed in baskets and bins.. edges peeling and worn.. from disks and hard drives, forever holding a place in my heart.

Wordless Wednesday {The crawler}

Twelve Months of Trenton {Eight}

I'm writing this a day late. You know how the weekends go during the summer, it's like you can barely sit down and breathe let alone write a blog post to your eight month old son.
I digress.

Trenton, you are eight months old. This month you have learned and discovered so many new things, it has made time fly by even faster, if that's even possible at this point.
You are crawling. You're like a little machine! You figured out one day, while on your tummy, that if you smack your hands down and then use them to drag your body, it takes you places! It didn't take long for you to figure out that you could go faster and faster. every day when Dada gets home from work, you drag your little body across the floor to greet him.
Speaking of dada, you can say "Dada!" although, most often you're talking to my boobs when you want milk. I guess we'll have to work on that one. You can also say, "Mama!" but again, out of context. It's okay though, I don't mind. I also hear the "Ba" sound from time to time, mostly when you're talking to you toys. sometimes you will put all your sounds together and it sounds like this:
"Ahh-dabahbahmmmama!" I can tell that you are very serious when you say this.
You smile and laugh ALWAYS. Funny tht I say that because in this particulr month's photo you were absolutely not interested in having your picture taken, would not smile, and would not have any part in it unless you soother was in your mouth. I probably should have waited until after nap time.
Speking of sleeping, you're pretty good at it. You will usually hve 2 naps throughout the day and are out for the count by 8ish-pm. You still wake up 1-2 times per night for milk, and I still get sympathetic looks from people, telling me that I need to remedy that situation for some reason. Baby, let's make something clear.. you can need me at night for as long as you want. I don't mind one little bit.
This month, you have almost mastered sitting up unassisted. You can do it for a few minutes before you start to lean, and sometimes you're too distracted to put out your hand to catch yourself.
OH. And on Saturday, you know, the day before you turned 8 months, you decided to STAND in your crib. I came in to get you from your nap and there you were, standing, and crying. Down the crib mattress went.
This month, you grew 4 more teeth, you porr little soul. You now have both bottom, both top and one and a half eye teeth. So far we haven't had any biting incidents. Let's keep it that way, deal?

Weight/Length: 16.7lb, 28in.
Size: Finally a size 3 diaper, 3month onesies, 3-6 & 6 sleepers.
Favourites: You love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and your Jolly Jumper. Also, I don't hear a peep from you if you're outside. You're not too sure about the pool.
Foods: You eat everything. You love sweet potatos and fruit. Especially watermelon and banana. Watching you eat peas is really funny because you chase them all over the place, and you don't quite have the pincer grasp down yet, so like I said, funny.

Oh, and you're beautiful.

Trying to be selfless {& putting myself last.. first?}

I have worked on and off through my life, but for the better part of my time as a mother, I have been home with my kids. My daughter was born when I was far too young to have a child, and we struggled when she was a baby. I attended college for the earlier part of her life and obtained a degree in Early Childhood Education. I worked in public daycare for a little while until we moved further from the city, where I worked at meaningless jobs for a little while. Once Kaleb came along I stayed at home for a year, until we moved again, this time out west to follow Rob's family and see where it would take us. While we lived there and once we moved back, I continued working until after we bought our house. At that point, it was beginning to become evident that Kaleb was struggling and that he needed me home with him, so I quit my job to be home with him full-time. I babysat a few kids here and there but nothing ever really stuck.
Over the past few years I have flirted with the idea of going back to school, even though the thought is terrifying.. it is something that I really hope to do, and I let myself get my hopes up that I was going to return in January, after the baby's first birthday.

Unfortunately for me, that's just not going to happen.

Being a stay-at-home mom has been relatively easy for me up until now. Truthfully, I am doig what comes naturally to me, and that's caring for my children. Sure, I run out of patience on some days.. and other days I get a little stir-crazy.. but for the most part, I am genuinly content with where I am.

But I know it can't last forever.

Deep down in there, there's a part of me that aches to do something meaningful with my life.. to work with children like my son and feel rewarded and the end of the day. There is a part of me that yearns to make something better of myself.. to be proud of myself and subsequently have my children be proud of their mother.

It always comes down to money, in the end.

We live on one income, we're used to this and we do fine on a day-to-day basis, but to factor in tuition, along with the cost of childcare, without the second income.. just isn't doable right now.
I had to sit down and really think about this.. on one hand, I could be selfish and just do it, and on the other, I could put my family and my marriage first and set aside myself for a little longer.

I think the answer is as obvious to you as it was to me.

Rob and I already have the odds stacked up against us. We fight stereotypes every day. We got together young, had kids young, bought property young.. by all rhyme and reason we should end in a messy divorce and end up poverty-stricken, but that just isn't going to happen for us.
Maybe if I hadn't married my best friend.. maybe if we didn't have an immeasurable amount of love and respect for one another, maybe if it was anyone but us.
That being said, I feel responsible to not put an unnecessary strain on our marriage, be it financial or otherwise, so for now, furthering my education will take the back burner.

I'm not sure what the future holds for me and my family, but I know this, beyond any shadow of a doubt.

We will get there, together.